Bruce's Super-Rad Cyber-World

Improving the Best Picture Nominees (and Winner!)

2011-03-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Black Pants
The Pantser
The Pants Are All Right
127 Pants
Pants-ception
The Social Pants
Pants Story 3
True Pants
Pants' Bone
The King's Pants (winner)

Confession . . .

2010-10-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have to get this off my chest. Today. I met my wife at the furniture store after work. I arrived before she did, and when she walked in, everything went into slo-mo, and "Dreamweaver" started playing in my head.

True story.

Change is in the Air . . .

2010-10-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

Clicky above to embiggen.

Clark Visits The Land of Hoof-Hoofs

2010-10-04T18:28:00.001-07:00

Click above to embiggen.

Would you buy a used car from this man?

2010-06-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

Well, would you?

What Would Evan Lysacek Do?

2010-02-20T05:25:00.000-08:00

In honor of Olympic Gold medal winner Evan Lysacek's historic win over Russian pobre cito Evgeni Plushenko, here are some things you might not know about the American star:

-When Evan Lysacek cries, lillies sprout from the earth where his tears land.

-Inexplicably, Evan Lysacek's signature appears on the Declaration of Independence.

-Jim Cameron may digitally recolour the Avatar aliens to more closely resemble Evan Lysacek.

-Evan Lysacek didn't do a quadruple not because he couldn't, but for fear of breaching the space-time continuum.

-Evan Lysacek's skating could cure the sick and raise the dead. It doesn't, due to Evan's close adherence to something called the "Pangalactic Prime Directive."

-Translated from the ancient tongue of his forbears, Evan Lysacek's name means "Vanquisher of Russian DB Crybabies."

-In Japan, Evan Lysacek is known as "Super-Mega Space-Ice Battle Samurai Evanlysacekai."

-Evan Lysacek bartered with the devil at the Crossroads for his skill in ice-skating, but instead of his own soul, he traded that of Johnny Weir.

-The snakes worn on Evan Lysacek's costume during his gold-medal run? Live snakes, kept under submission by special pheramones exuded by an extra organ in his gills. Yes, Lysacek has gills.

-Lysacek originally entered the games as the sole 2010 Olympic representative of the country Lysacekistan, but decided instead to join the U.S. men's skating team when IOC officials determined his entry as a one-man ice hockey team would scare all the other countries out of the competition.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. YO JOE!

On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 3: Myth or Legend?

2009-11-29T16:50:00.000-08:00

On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 3. Why isn't this out yet?

Where is it?

Limbo?

Why is it in limbo?

Grrrrrr . . .

Button Up!

2009-10-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Today saw the crowning of a most deserving world champion, as Britain's Jenson Button joined the immortal ranks of Formula 1 world champions following his stellar drive in the 2009 Brazilian Grand Prix.

After a torrid start to the season, in which the driver won six of the first seven races for a team which rose from the ashes of the folded Honda GP outfit, Jens cooled considerably in the season's second half. Since his June victory at the Turkish Grand Prix, Button found himself generally outperformed by his Brawn teammate Barrichello, in spite of finishing in the points all but once.

Apparently the British press have piled on the veteran racer since his mid-season "swoon" began, unfairly, I think. Well, they have to say something to sell papers, and the reading public loves nothing more than that brand of iconoclasty. In spite of all the doomsayers, Button put forth a "Champion's drive" today, doggedly climbing to fifth place from a potentially disastrous fourteenth qualifying spot to seal the deal against both insurgent teammate Rubenho, and the Swiss whippersnapper upstart Sebastian Vettel. While the sun has now almost certainly set on Barrichello's career chances for winning the World Title, I predict many crowns will rest upon the young Red Bull driver's brow, and he may even someday live up to his press-bestowed "Schumi Junior" moniker. Time will tell.

In other news, the Brawn GP team clinched the constructor's title in their inaugural season. A nice win for all involved, and a ninth (!) such title for Ross Brawn, the team principle and past architect of the Schumacher world titles and Raikkonen's lone championship. This was his first big win without the looming shadow of the man called Michael, and as such must feel incredibly validating for one of if not the finest men in F1 today, or ever for that matter.

Interlagos has served as a kiln of champions for many of the past several seasons. Now, to the history of that great track and exciting venue, we can mark that it was there that we saw the long-overdue racing beatification of Jenson Button, your 2009 World Champion. Outstanding.

X-Mania Hits NYC

2009-10-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I wish I lived closer to NYC.

This doesn't happen all that often, but when I see something like the above event poster, I can't help but pine for better and/or easier access to the Big Apple.

Granted, a pass through the concrete jungle would likely cure me of this, a journey I haven't made in many years, but still . . .

Whose nerd heart wouldn't be gladdened by the X-Men motion comic projected on the side of a big ol' building, with sound, to the delight of the happy assembled throngs of geek nation? I know mine would be.

Even though Marvel is pretty much dead to me these days, and I'll never forgive series writer Joss Weedon for what he did to Kitty Pryde, I'd sure love to be present for this unique event. Wouldn't you?

2009-10-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

Maybe this guy will visit you in your dreams tonight? I hope he stays the H away from mine.

More info at www.thisman.org

The Grab Bag

2009-08-16T10:03:00.001-07:00

COMING SOON!

UPDATE (10/18/2009): I really don't do a very good job of following up on these things, do I?

Monster Manual 2 is here!

2009-05-24T13:17:00.001-07:00

Review coming just as soon as I read through this beautiful thing

UPDATE: OK, what with all the fun of this summer (having my gallbladder carved out, starting my new firm, Page's surgery, etc.), I still haven't been able to get through the MM2, but should be back on track soon. Also, I picked up and started reading the new Eberron books. Sue me.

BSG: One Month On . . .

2009-04-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

Wow, I miss BSG.

Yes, I did just make this post so I'd have an excuse to use the picture above. I wager that WOULD be a sight more provocative than identifying Mitochondrial Eve.

PICTURE SOURCE: io9.com

Look what I found in my garden on Easter Sunday . . .

2009-04-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

Tee-hee!

Clark Bar arrives!

2008-08-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

Clark Jordan Russell, born August 20, 2008 at 6:52 PM. 8 lbs., 15 ozs., 21 inches long. Mother and baby are doing great. More soon.

Chupacabra spotted!

2008-08-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else heard anything else about this? I think it could be the real deal, but then, I'm one of the few white people in North America who thinks O.J. is probably innocent.

SOURCE: Yahoo! News

BOOK REVIEW: Tana French's In The Woods

2008-07-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

Review coming soon! **** out of a possible *****!

For now, content yourself with this blurb. SPOILERS BELOW!:

From Publishers Weekly
Irish author French expertly walks the line between police procedural and psychological thriller in her debut. When Katy Devlin, a 12-year-old girl from Knocknaree, a Dublin suburb, is found murdered at a local archeological dig, Det. Rob Ryan and his partner, Cassie Maddox, must probe deep into the victim's troubled family history. There are chilling similarities between the Devlin murder and the disappearance 20 years before of two children from the same neighborhood who were Ryan's best friends. Only Maddox knows Ryan was involved in the 1984 case. The plot climaxes with a taut interrogation by Maddox of a potential suspect, and the reader is floored by the eventual identity and motives of the killer. A distracting political subplot involves a pending motorway in Knocknaree, but Ryan and Maddox are empathetic and flawed heroes, whose partnership and friendship elevate the narrative beyond a gory tale of murdered children and repressed childhood trauma. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Do you REALLY want to believe?

2008-07-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

So I checked out "The X-Files: I Want the Believe" on Friday. It wasn't bad. In fact, I quite liked it. I very much agree with Harry Knowles' review, for the most part.

***SPOILERS AHOY!***

There were points in the movie that really got the old "I Want To Believe" pulse going. Skinner's surprise, unbilled appearance was most welcome. I'm glad he had as much screen time a he did towards the end.

It pleased me to see the two ex-agents snugged up with each other in bed, leaving no doubt as to the current parameters of their relationship. Mulder's suggestion of a "little something" to help her sleep cracked me up.

How about Leoben (Actor Callum Keith Rennie) as the Russian organ-courier? Not a surprise to find the Cylons involved in that manner of chicanery . . .

What was up with Mulder and Scully in the rowboat on the ocean at the end of the credits? And waving to the camera on the helicopter overhead? A nod to the "shipper" community, perhaps?

The scene involving the photos of George Bush and J. Edgar Hoover got a rise out of the crowd at the Friday matinee I attended. A bit obvious, but fun nonetheless.

I laughed out loud at the jokes regarding Billy Connelly's character, so much so that this chap in the row behind me commented, in what could charitably be described as a stage whisper, "It wasn't that [expeletive deleted] funny." I turned back to him and said, "Well, I thought it was," and assembled a menu of snappy put downs in case he piped up again. Bride told me later she was afraid a brawl was going to break out. Ten years ago, that may have been a concern, but like Bill Munny, "I ain't a bad man no more." Ahem.

Speaking of brawling, would it have killed the film's producers to turn loose some Frankenbeasts for an action sequence towards the end? Honestly.

As far as geography goes, for the record, Richmond is kind of far from D.C. I guess they played fast and loose with geography in the T.V. show as well. That in no way explains why "West Virginia" seemed more like "Alaska."

As I type this I'm watching some reruns of classic episodes on TNT. Man, that show was something else in it's day. The concept still has some life in it, or it could if handled properly. Alas, I don't think this movie is going to bring in the casual moviegoers, and that's what this type of film needs in order to justify further installments, no matter how many rabid X-Filers are out there, and no matter how much that core group "wants to believe." Of course, the ridiculously long gap between the end of the show (whether you want to mark that at the conclusion of the ninth season or, *cough*, the seventh) and the release of "I Want To Believe" has apparently extinguished most of this cult's fervor. The Friday grosses were quite low, and having to compete with the juggernaut that is "The Dark Knight" can't help.

On opening day, this movie ranked well behind Batman 2 in it's second Friday of release (a ***** movie, by the way, in spite of all that "cellphone sonar" business), the Talladega Nights sequel (I know, I know, it isn't really . . . ), and that doggone Abba movie. I'm afraid this is the last time we'll see Mulder and Scully up on the screen, be it big, small, or in-between. That's a shame. If only Chris Carter had stepped into an executive producer role, and let some young gun with a fresh vision and a better understanding of how to make a big-screen, franchise-reviving spectacle take the reins, we may have been able to look forward to many more installments in this venerable franchise. Instead of turning Fox Mulder's religion into a crusade, this film will likely lock the cabinet on the X-Files forever.

I personally give it ***1/2 for fans, and *1/2 for reg'lar folks.

***UPDATE!***
Monday, 28 July, 2008 at 4:20 PM
Looks like the movie cleared just north of $10 million over the weekend. With a $30 million production budget, plus who knows how many more millions for marketing, X-Files 2 is almost certainly a prize-A turkey. They're going to have to move a whole crap-ton of dvds to drive this bad-girl into profitability. Ouch.

Bale beats his ma?

2008-07-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't that be a great name for a band?

More on this at www.wwtdd.com, an excellent blog for those who appreciate a healthy dose of snark in their celebrity news.

So it sounds like this isn't a case of possible physical assault, but "verbal" assault. "Verbal" assault is a crime in the U.K.? I bet it isn't in Ireland. They'd have to turn the whole island into a prison, and not even a "clone prison" like in the movie "The Island," which, like Mark from 2IGTV.com, I quite liked.

Apparently, Bale lost his cool over some comments his mother made about his wife, who was STANDING RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE TIME. What a set of stones on Momma Bale, I tell you. Still, I'd about as soon brand my tongue with a hot poker as curse at MY momma, but then, I'm from the American South, and am a huge "momma's boy." Maybe that's just how they roll in jolly old England these days . . .

They say C.B.'s been upset since the death of his friend Heath Ledger, and has become sullen and withdrawn. I had a similar reaction to the death of Bert Convey . . .

Look everyone! It's my big fat Irish melon!

2008-06-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

Crazy how these new computers have cameras built right in. I hope I've managed to turn mine off. Wouldn't do to have the random profanity-laced tirades I unleash upon the potted plant in my office streaming out across the interwebs.

In the foreground you'll see my Father's Day present from Bride: a replica Legion flight ring. Does my lady know me or what?

Battlestar Galactica: 'This has all happened before, and it will all happen again.'

2008-04-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

As every good boy and girl knows, BSG returns tonight. I, for one, can't wait.

I think I've figured out how the whole thing ends: In Episode 4.20, with about 20 minutes to go, the Cylons and humans come together on Earth, resolving to start over and make a new go as a new unified race, before the treachery of Baltar and a couple of renegade meat-toaster models results in the near destruction of the remainder of human and robot society. How is not important. There is a final shot of one of the human/Cylon Hybrid toaster children, aged into mid-childhood, painting cave drawings of the twelve colonies and the Galactica's flight from annihilation. Everything goes dark.

Then, the words 'sometime in the future' appear across the bottom of the screen. We see a non-descript class m planet from space. A ship with more in common than not with the Galactica we've come to know and love from the current series, but with some differences, appears in view orbiting the planet. The camera slowly approaches this vessel, revealing the word 'Galactica' emblazoned on the side. The camera turns into the launch bay, and enters the ship, winding through seemingly familiar corridors, coming to rest on the bridge. None of the current cast are present, the uniforms are different, etc. Clearly, this is not the Galactica of Edward James Olmos' Bill 'Husker' Adama.

A figure in the center of all this, who we can tell from his uniform, bearing, etc., is in command, picks up a buzzing handheld comm unit, and identifies himself as 'Commander Adama.' We then see who is on the other end of the call, and it is a civilian in some office of authority announcing Cylon attacks on the twelve colonies. 'Adama' announces this to his crew in a suitably stirring speech, and everything goes to slow-mo as the camera pans around the bridge, as words appear along the bottom of the screen announcing the names, rank, and /or functions of various personnel, names which are familiar to the BSG faithful: Gaeta, Dualla, etc, but not those we've come to know and love.

The camera winds back through the ship, revealing fighters preparing to launch, and identifying other major players, again played by different actors: Apollo, Starbuck, etc. The shot then jumbs out of slow-mo and into real time as All Along The Watchtower plays as we see various fighters and support craft take wing. Mushroom clouds appear around the planet in the background. Cut to 'Caprica (current).'

An improbably handsome man stands in a field, holding a bookish yet beautiful woman in his arms. We have never seen either of these characters before. We see smoke and devastation in the far background. The woman has a deranged look in her eyes, and is raving about what she has done, which she does not identify. The man pulls her deeper into her arms, and whispers words of comfort, identifying her as 'Gaea.' As the camera pulls into a close-up of the man's face, we see a red gleam in his left eye. 'This has all happened before, and it will happen again.' Fade to black.

Disney!

2007-11-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

Bride and I leave for a fun-filled long weekend at the Disney parks tomorrow. You may expect a full report upon my return. Early plans for remote Twitter updates were quashed by the dual-pronged attack of a) my incredible laziness, and b) Bride's displeasure at this prospect. What can I say, we have a successful formula for our marriage: she gives me commands, and I obey them. By your command, sweetie.

2IGTV

2007-10-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

2 Irish Geeks and a TV

Tremendous podcast by two demented Micks from the bogs of old Hibernia. Well, they're from Cork, anyhow.

Opening salvo.

2007-10-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

Here it is. More to come.